Sandra Rifman

Getting Married? Choose your bridal party with care and understanding!

A bride's friendships may suffer if she blunders in choosing her maid of honor and bridesmaids. But, by choosing maids wisely, she can avoid damaging cherished relationships.
A bride may hurt the feelings of her friends (or sisters or cousins) by not choosing them to be part of her wedding party - but, by selecting them, she may be saddling them with a heavy burden.

The friend to whom she offers the position of maid of honor might not wish to plan and fund a bridal shower, with its inherent cost of time and money.

In addition to planning and funding the shower (often with help and funding from the bridesmaids), the maid of honor is expected to give a shower gift, a wedding gift and shell out money for a gown - a gown that she may not like or ever wear again!

The maid of honor and the bridesmaids are also expected to attend the rehearsal, rehearsal dinner and, perhaps, other pre-wedding parties. Other obligations often include addressing envelopes, attending shopping expeditions and dress fittings, and assisting the bride with any chores needed on the big day.

Some brides get so caught up in the excitement of planning one of the most important days in their life that they forget that, to the maid of honor and the bridesmaids, the wedding is a less significant day.

A bride should review the costs and inconveniences her maids would incur. If someone she plans to ask to be a maid is unlikely to have the funds to spare, the bride should consider offering to help with the cost of the dress and the shower. If a friend may need to fly into town for a shower or other pre-wedding event, the bride should consider the logistics her friend faces in doing so.

After determining her choices for maids, the bride should ask each friend, privately, whether she wishes to take on the duties involved. The bride should make it clear that she would understand should her friend decline.

In addition to considering cost and time, the bride should choose friendship over aesthetics. No one will remember that one of the bridesmaids was a little taller or tubbier than the usher with whom she was paired; however, a friend will remember that she was overlooked, and that friendship will be damaged forever.

Remember that friendships are for life, while the most elaborate wedding is over in a matter of hours.

by Sandra Rifman
www.bridalshowerplans.com